Thursday, October 11, 2007
Think not disdainfully of death, but look on it with favor; for even death is one of the things that Nature wills - Marcus Aurelius Antoninus,Meditations
The fragility of life never stop to instill fear in me... the fear of losing what's important... I've lost my grandparents, even friends to death... now relatives who has been so close to me and has always been there for me when i was growing up...
I neglected them... i remember i used to say this when i was little, "i will never forget you and will definately come back to visit when i can".... and then, i fail to keep such promises. Death is not like going on a holiday where one day, you will come back... it's permament. WHen i heard that she was gone... i could not register the fact that i will neve be able to see her EVER again.... i still cannot bare to say goodbye... i didn't even dared to see her for one last time....when i held her hands in the hospital and she rocognised me... i thought she was going to be ok.... and just like that she was gone..... i cannot describe how i felt when i got to know about it as i never did expect such things to happen.... all i could do was tell myself that it was just a bad dream and i have to wake up and everything will go away.
Went to her wake last night, suddenly i felt how distant i have become with my family.. and how i took all of them for granted.... to think they will always be there... and now, she's gone....and now i am scared.... i know i can't afford to lose anyone else anymore... my heart will die
4:39 pm
