Saturday, October 27, 2007
hmmm.... guess i am all better now.... had a tiring week going through the emo rollercoaster.... 2nd time seeing my dad cry.... and got really disturbed when he said "看来，我们这一代也要开始排队上路了.." it's like.... WTH~~~~~ haiz...
okok... whatever.... exams are coming soon~~~~and guess what i was doing just a while ago??? i went kster....hahaaa... with 24th...hahaha..... AND... i just felt like i went back to the old school times... the boys kept singing SUPER retro songs from wu bai, beyond, zhang xin zhe, wu si kai.... i was like... diao......... generation gap sia.... until wu yin liang pin came.. WOOOHO~~~~ hahaaa... finally nearer and nearer to my shi dai... the whole night... they didn't play SHE, no Cao ge... no lin yu zhong.. no tank.. no a mei~~~~~~~ hahhaaaa...... so different from my usual kster experiences.... tonight was super low key day.. except for the jackey cheung's duets...hahaaaa...oh well.... time to feel guilty.... STUDY.... but b4 that i will have to complete my big 4 application forms... and retake my formal photo~~~~ UGLY~~~
4:43 am
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Think not disdainfully of death, but look on it with favor; for even death is one of the things that Nature wills - Marcus Aurelius Antoninus,Meditations
The fragility of life never stop to instill fear in me... the fear of losing what's important... I've lost my grandparents, even friends to death... now relatives who has been so close to me and has always been there for me when i was growing up...
I neglected them... i remember i used to say this when i was little, "i will never forget you and will definately come back to visit when i can".... and then, i fail to keep such promises. Death is not like going on a holiday where one day, you will come back... it's permament. WHen i heard that she was gone... i could not register the fact that i will neve be able to see her EVER again.... i still cannot bare to say goodbye... i didn't even dared to see her for one last time....when i held her hands in the hospital and she rocognised me... i thought she was going to be ok.... and just like that she was gone..... i cannot describe how i felt when i got to know about it as i never did expect such things to happen.... all i could do was tell myself that it was just a bad dream and i have to wake up and everything will go away.
Went to her wake last night, suddenly i felt how distant i have become with my family.. and how i took all of them for granted.... to think they will always be there... and now, she's gone....and now i am scared.... i know i can't afford to lose anyone else anymore... my heart will die
4:39 pm
Thursday, October 04, 2007
busy frenzy week~~~~~ with so many tuition slots and the dreadful AA306 quiz..... which i still chui-ed despite spending soooo much time doing practices.... in the end even my CJE 1 which i was soooo proud of is WRONG~~~~~ shit.... wrong goodwill... didn't believe in my own calculations... cos goodwill seems toooo big to be true....*grumbles*...hai.... now.. going to my tuition venue soon then aftetr that i will have to rush back for ministerial forum.... and guess what... i have no form of identification on me~~~ no IC no driving license... WTH~~~~ how to enter~!~~~~ haiz.... after after this forum... i can pretty well relax.... except that i still got a aa306 project to do which requires me to red a 200+pg annual report!!!!! haiz...... who says final year is slack.... haiz... but can rest from tuition le cos my students will finish their SA this week... phew......
3:40 pm
