Friday, May 19, 2006

I AM PISSED.... not with you but with myself. with myself for ever becoming too dependent on you.. for being worried that you might not be eating well or even feel bored when i am out with my friends... guess you can't be bothered at all. guess you do think this world revolves around you...well sadly it doesn't.... i am really sick of being that idiot... who waste her whole day just waiting for a call... iam never waited for anyone for more than an hour, not even my mum... i will always so excited that i will be able to spend time with you... being able to do things that i have suggested then it all gets crashed down with your simple excuse " oh i forgot" i know may sound damn petty now... but i know that i have been very patient and forgiving. i have told myself ever sooo many times, oh well, he's busy, oh well he will call in the next minute...maybe i was just kidding myself too much...you said you had an appointment at ten, we can meet at 12... i woke up at 9... scared that you might be late for you appointment... waited for your call... finally yu did.. 12pm... you told me you have not gone for the appointment... do i even have a choice but to wait somemore? oh well seems dumb but i did... wasted my whole day which i could have used for better stuff like help my mum out.... i waited till 245... i tot we were having lunch... i told my mum not to cook... well... guess all my plans of letting you try out the chicken rice at katong which me and peg loved was gone already....this is not the 1st time.... not the 1st time all my plans were foiled.. nt the first time i sat at my table like an idiot waiting for my phone to ring.... not the first time hearing the same excuses... not the first time you FORGOT to tell me things that involved me...... why am i even recollecting this???maybe what i seee now and how i feel may not match what you feel... HEY i am not some xian ren that will Always understand.... i did once.... i was hurt...now... i am just protecting me....

you made me take off that shield... yet plunged another knife in me... i am hurt... yet you are swimming on that dreaded table with you friends.... bet i didn't even mattered now.....

1:40 am